FUCK MAN CITY

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Editors note: After building up so much frustration at last Sunday's game, my friend, a long time Man-U fan finally cracked and asked to vent his feelings on this site. Needless to say the result is delightful, I hope you enjoy this article, I sure did.

I assume if you are reading this sentence right now you have already read the title and you have an slight idea what the tone of this article will be about. I assume if your reading this article, you are also a soccer fan and that you have already watched the Manchester United versus Man City game that took place last Sunday. I assume very little or none of you are Man City fans, but if by some divine miracle you are a Man City fan then just go away, I don’t even want you to read this, just fuck off, just move your mouse to the top right corner of your window and click on the X symbol. Thanks for nothing you fucking wankers. I have so many hateful things to say, but where to start?

By now you have probably concluded that I am a Man U fan, and the event that took place last Sunday is not one that I want to stay in my memory. I remember October, 23, 2011 like it was yesterday, my day went a little something like this. I woke up late, missed the first half, went to the library, opened up the game to see the score 1-0 for Man City, then a minute later Balotelli scores to make it 2-0, went on ESPN to check who scored the first goal only to realize United were down to ten men, shortly afterwards Aguero scored to make it 3-0. Everything was all going so wrong so fast so I just decided to shut off my laptop. Then I slowly took out a gun out of my bag, placed it on my temple, and pulled the trigger to end the misery….

Firstly, just looking at United’s lineup on Sunday depressed me, the line up that Sir Alex put out wasn’t even close to full potential. I hated this starting lineup. First of all why da fuck is Evans playing over Phil Jones, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phil Jones has been the shining star for United and he’s the face of the youngsters that are coming through for the team. He faster, stronger, smarter, and a way better leader than Evans, but somehow he was on the bench and that piece of shit was on the field. I mean how can you trust a guy who makes tackles like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs88nvpF_gw . When Evans first came through I really thought he was going to be a star, but with time he only proved that he was mentally challenged. I don’t ever want to see him in the starting lineup, the only time I ever want to see Evans’s name in there is if Chris Smalling, Ferdinand, Jones, Evra, Rafael, Fabio, Valencia all cannot physically stand up, and Vidic only has one leg left to stand on, then and only then do I ever want to see his name in the starting lineup. I don’t like blaming Sir Alex for anything, but this was definitely a huge mistake that costs the game. Ferdinand is already way past his prime 3 years ago so I don’t even want to pick on him. To the new goalie, I have nothing bad to say about De Gea nor do I have anything nice, I know the 6 goals was not really his fault at all, but I feel like if Van der Sar or any of the other great United goalies in the same situation they would not have let that happen. Something about him just seems off and he just doesn’t seem like a United goalie, please bring the flying Dutchman back. I don’t know why im hating on United players but im just so irrational right now that everything is making me mad. I guess its because I haven’t let out the source of my hatred which is Man City…

Suarez, the EPL, and the Tabloids

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It's been a long time sense I felt like I could write another article about soccer.  Too many games missed due to a dreadful combination of school and work combined with some awful game times (8:30 am Sunday for derbies, really?) left me with insufficient knowledge or inspiration to write about anything.  Today I finally got that bit of inspiration and hopefully the following will sound as coherent as it did when I thought about it.

Many in the mainstream media (especially the British media, but that's for another time) will look at Liverpool's 15 points from 9 games as a major disappointment, while also taking shots at Liverpool's American owners and Luis Suarez.  A couple of thoughts on this, first of all, what Suarez is doing on the soccer field is absolutely incredible, he is easily the most exciting Liverpool player I have watched in my life time.  His talent isn't even the best thing about him, if there was an NBA season you would hear me bitch about guys who get paid and don't care, with Suarez it is the exact opposite.  He approaches games with the intensity of a starving wolf, he is genuinely pissed when he (or the team) is playing poorly, and hates being subbed off.  He really, really cares, we can't say the same thing about players like Tevez and Torres who always put themselves before the team, which by the way is something Suarez has yet to do (and in my opinion he wont).  It's too bad that if you are a supporter of another team you wont notice these things because every major British tabloid and sportscasting company is trying to convince us that Suarez is the Antichrist   Look, I get it he sometimes goes to ground too easily and does complain quite a bit; you know who else complains?  Wayne Rooney, Xavi, Iniesta (the Barcelona guys way more than anyone else) Why do these stars complain so much?  Because they don't feel the ref protects them enough.  Against Norwich, Peter Walton decided that the media was right and chose to ignore the numerous incidents of Norwich players tugging at and grabbing Suarez around the neck area because hey, he dives and bitches!  I would be fine with this were it not for the same media blowhards never treating Christiano Ronaldo like this.  Compare how Suarez and Ronaldo behave on the pitch, they wont be far off.  To the media's credit they eventually started treating Ronaldo like they are Suarez now only after the former got Rooney sent off in the World Cup, gee I wonder what caused them to start hating the guy all of a sudden?  I will avoid getting too much into Sir Alex Ferguson's (Phenomenal coach, putrid human being) hypocritical rant about Suarez's antics, keep in mind that this same man has Nani and Evra on his squad but I digress.