Alright! Having some free time on my hands, I decided to watch the mersyside derby today and do a running diary of it. As you may or may not know, I am a huge fan of Liverpool so this diary will be very biased, so Everton fans (all six of you) you have been warned. Before I begin I do feel that I should mention that this Liverpool season has been the worst. Yes, I am referring to it as simply 'the worst'. Liverpool finally got owners who were willing to spend some serious money to improve the team, only to see players like Andy Carrol, Charlie Adam, and Stewart Downing (combined cost: over 60 million!) get out-performed by the likes of Kuyt, and Craig Bellamy (combined cost: less then 10 mil, and that is only the cost of Kuyt who was bought over 5 years ago, kill me now). To top it off, Liverpool's best players (Suarez, Gerrard, Lucas-not up for debate, he is a phenomenal player) all missed games due to freak injuries, lingering injuries, and suspensions. To make maters even worst than that, as we continue down the well of misery, Liverpool has managed to hit the post or crossbar this season a staggering 28 times. That is not a typo, if even half of those go in I am pretty sure Liverpool is locked into a champions league spot. I have not even talked about penalties yet. It has gotten to the point where every time Liverpool wins a penalty you wonder how they are going to fuck it up. My personal favorite miss so far was when Charlie Adam, the so called 'set piece master' pulled a Beckham. I can not describe how sick to my stomach I am that the only defense I have against other fans (casual or otherwise) is to hold up five fingers and try to ignore their quips. This culminated when people asked me why I am even still a fan and that I should look for a new team. Okay, nothing makes me more mad then hopping onto a band-wagon, I am a fan for a reason, and I know that one day it will be worth it (see: 49ers of San Francisco) so Chelsea fans: your golden boy Mourihno got clowned by Rafa every single time they played in a cup, and Rafa was operating with one third the budget, Arsenal fans: your cup drought is longer then ours, City fans: you might not win shit this year, and United fans: I respect you (the die-hard ones at least) enough to wish you luck in the title race. Whoa that felt good, the next 90 minutes probably will not, but let's get on with it anyways.
4pm: Kickoff, we begin...
1' Form apparently does not matter in Derbies, Good, because Liverpool's form can best be described like the Toronto Maple Leafs: garbage
2' Carrol and Suarez combine nicely, but Everton clears the ball. Andy Carrol has been unbelievable this year, and I use that word in the worst possible way. He took a massive dump on Liverpool when he played for Newcastle, so I was ecstatic when Liverpool got him. The result? ugh... He is incredibly frustrating, has all the tools, but refuses to use them for some reason.
6' After some incredibly dull play, Suarez sets Gerrard up for a one on one with the keeper. Read my introduction to this, then take a wild guess at what happened. Here ill make it even easier: multiple choice.
a) Gerrard scored
b) Gerrard hit the post
c) Everton's goalie made a wonder-save, then an Everton defender made an even better block.
c. The answer is c. One thing I did not bitch about in the introduction is how goalies turn super-human against Liverpool
'8 Well, to say Liverpool is kicking Everton's ass so far would be an understatement, the announcer even described this assault as 'going for the jugular' but are they scoring? Nope, of course not.
9' On cue, Everton storms back and miss-hit a shot that would have put them up 1-0. heart stopping stuff right now.
11' Suarez takes a lovely headed pass from Carrol and volleys it first time, but its too close to Howard, who does very well to save it. Suarez then burns two defenders but can not capitalize, the atmosphere is unreal at Anfield right now. I really wish Liverpool played with this much passion every game.
13' I mean, if you want to show your fans that you do care, this is how you do it! Even Downing is producing, as he makes a great run down the left. Is is a coincidence that Charlie Adam is on the bench and Liverpool is playing so well? I think not.
15' Everton botches, a three on two after the first mistake from Liverpool's midfield. whew, breathe. This game has been incredible though, I somewhat regret not being able to focus fully on it because of typing this.
18' We enter the 18th minute with the score still at 0-0. I think this is why many North Americans can not get behind soccer. If a basketball game was played at this pace, the score would be in the forties by now. As I type that, the announcers give us this gem: no Liverpool player has scored at Anfield (Liverpool's home field) in 2012. That says it all, corner to Liverpool.
19' Nothing of it. Quick tangent: Last year Charlie Adam was considered to be worth a minimum of 10 million pounds "for his corner delivery alone" (as said by Alex Ferguson). This year, Stephen Hawking would have delivered better ones, I do not remember the last time a fan base disliked a player so much, but everyone who was not a fan of the team still thought the player was good. I guess Turkoglu's stint with the Raptors is a good comparison.
24' Everton have recovered from their poor start and actually have been threatening for the last few minutes. Luckily, Liverpool's defense (one of the few bright spots of this putrid season) held firm and weathered Everton's storm.
26' With a dull spell (finally) in the game, we are treated to some facts about the Derby, followed by the announcer's mentioning how disappointing Liverpool's season has been, and how they desperately need to win. I can almost see the Everton goal coming...
28' Everton now taking control, back to back corners won by them, somehow, I do not think I will have much fun watching this.
30' Liverpool respond to Everton's pressure with two off sides in the span of 25 seconds. I wish I was making a joke here.
31' This season has been so bad, that I actually don't think that I would be rattled much by an Everton win. At this point its like U of T, you learn to accept the beating and just smile and keep going. My favorite stomach punch this year was Arsenal beating Liverpool 2-1 in a game where Liverpool missed a penalty and hit the post. Arsenal scored the winner in the 93rd minute.
33' GOAL LIVERPOOL! ITS GERRARD!!!!
34' Brilliant move from Liverpool forcing Howard into another save, but the ball rolled out to the edge of the box, where captain fantastic was waiting, and he made no mistake, curling a beautiful left footed shot over six players crowding the box. Anfield erupts with chants of his name.
37' Ohhhhhhhhh
37' Martin Kelly misses the goal by inches after being beautifully set up. Almost 2-0 to Liverpool. Everton responds and forces Reina into his first save of the day, denying an equalizer to Everton. Liverpool comes right back and wastes a chance! What a game!
39' Now Jordan Henderson (who everyone is disappointed by this year as well, but the guy is only 21, give him time) plays a great ball to Suarez, and Liverpool wins a corner. They fail to capitalize, but they are playing an unreal game. They truly rise to the occasion and crash spectacularly against weaker teams.
42' Gerrard is absolutely owning the middle of the field. His injury may turn out to be a blessing in disguise for England, he basically has only played 10 games this year, and if he stays on this form they could really make noise in the European Championships.
45' Approaching halftime now, Everton with the final attack it looks like. But they do nothing with it, the referee calls for half.
Halftime: Gerrard marks his 400th league game with a well taken goal, and Liverpool are up 1-0. I'm going to be honest, I want more goals. A 5-0 drubbing would almost make me forget about how bad this season has been. Almost. But then again, if someone offers me an 80% chance at 5-0 but a 20% chance of Everton winning, or a 1-0 Liverpool win for sure, I am taking that 1-0.
The second half kicks off...
46' Everton comes right out of halftime, marches down the field and wins a dangerous free kick. Skrtel is there however, and Liverpool are clear. 44 minutes to go.
48' Skrtel breaks up another Everton attack. He is a candidate for Liverpool's player of the season, and to his credit he has earned it. He and Agger are a really good tandem in defense and almost impossible to get by when they are on form.
50' GERRARD!!!! ITS 2-0
50' Henderson made a wonderful pass to free Suarez, who gets down the goal-line and leaves the ball for Gerrard (in full sprint) to strike it from about 10 yards. I think if Howard managed to get a hand to that it would have broken it. Spectacular stuff from Liverpool.
52' Now Suarez beats defenders again and leaves the ball for Carrol, but he can not replicate Gerrard's effort and hits it wide. Almost a carbon copy of Gerrard's second goal.
54' Downing gets in on the fun with a beautiful cross (sadly, I have not had the chance to say that much this year) to Martin Kelly who, at full stretch, manages to strike the ball but it too is just wide.
55' In typical Derby fashion, Everton decides to start hacking at the legs of Liverpool's players. The match produces its first yellow card, and to the referee's credit, he has kept the game under control so far, but this tackle is border-line red card worthy.
57' Not even feeling remotely safe about this lead, I've seen Liverpool collapse from better positions. Having said that, it has been a joy to watch Liverpool's young guns (and staples of the English U-21 team) Kelly and Henderson play today. They really brought it, and without them I think we are still at 0-0.
59' I also should mention that Carrol has been great today, but as I type this Everton has a shot cleared off the line by Enrique, and suddenly they are pushing forward in attack.
61' David Moyes (the coach of Everton) makes a rarely seen (outside of FIFA 12) triple substitution.
62' Andy Carrol takes two elbows to the face, but referee Phil Dowd chooses to pretend like he did not see them. Fun fact: the last time a team did a triple sub against Liverpool was united, and I think they did so twice. In both cases Liverpool scored within 5 minutes, so here is hoping that history repeats itself.
64' Free kick to Liverpool, a somewhat dangerous position. Downing crosses, but Everton clears it and attacks again, but Liverpool stop them.
65' Elsewhere, Bayern Munich is up 7-0 against Basel. I would love to see them and Barcelona play in the next round, they are probably the two best teams left in the champions league. Back to the game, things have settled once again, which means that they will pick up again in about 30 seconds, as has been the case so far.
69' Tragically, Liverpool did not manage to score after Everton's triple sub within 5 minutes. A win will do boys! 20 minutes to go.
71' Kuyt comes on for Henderson. The crowd let Henderson know that they appreciate his play today with a nice ovation. In the mean time, it looks like Liverpool is content to soak up Everton pressure and hit on the counter-attack. I do not remember the last time Liverpool played a game this well from end to end.
76' A nice moment as Leighton Baines and Suarez exchange some words. Suarez responds by putting the ball through Baines' legs and embarrassing him completely. At this time, with the game firmly in control, I would sub off Gerrard and not risk him getting injured.
78' Baines, apparently not satisfied with the embarrassment Suarez laid on him, pulls him down and receives a yellow for his effort.
79' Elsewhere, Marseille equalized Inter at 1-1 in the 90th minute, but Inter storms back and wins a penalty and Marseille's keeper receives a red card!. I am not sure what the situation is there because at this point Marseille is up 2-1 on aggregate, so this Inter penalty might win them the tie (on away goals) or give them a last gasp effort.
80' No effort as it turns out. Inter equalizes with the penalty, but the whistle is blown right away knocking Inter out of the competition.
83' Back to the game I am actually supposed to be watching.
85' Gerrard delivers a great tackle to end an Everton threat, he is easily the man of this match, if he plays the way he has today for the rest of the year, Liverpool could go on a nice pride-saving run.
88' Almost there, just have to see the game out.
89' The Liverpool fans begin singing 'You'l Never Walk Alone' as 4 minutes (what?) of added time are announced.
90+1' An Everton player kicks a ball at Enrique and earns him self a yellow. Come on man! Just because you got owned today does not mean you should take it out on your opponent. You stay classy Everton.
90+3' I see no way back for Everton now. The only drama left in this match is whether or not Everton will be shut out or not.
90+4' GOOOOOOALLLL!!!!! GERRARD WITH THE HAT TRICK 3-0!!!!
90+4' Suarez leaves the Everton defense in shambles after a phenomenal counter by Liverpool and instead of getting him self an easy goal, he looks up and calmly slides the ball to Gerrard so Stevie can get a rarely seen derby hat trick. Of course Gerrard put it in, and the first thing he did was run to Suarez to thank him. I do not think I've been this happy in a while.
Final whistle!
So Liverpool wins 3-0, my favorite player scored all three goals, and Charlie Adam got benched. I might have to do running diaries more often! Anyways, I shall sign off with that. Cheers.
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